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Moving on … part one

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A month ago we moved on. We sold our beautiful two-story, five-bedroom, three-bath, seven-closet, three-car-garage home and moved to an equally lovely one-story, three-and-a-half-bedroom, two-bath, four-closet, two-car-garage house less than three miles away. We gave up stairs, rooms, and closets; we gained a pool and a community center.

This move required downsizing – shedding furniture and housewares, clothes and books, and much more. We shed the idea that we were still as healthy and agile as when we bought the bigger house 17 years ago. We have less wall space and fewer shelves, so we shed a lot of picture frames – we realized we could shed the frames while keeping the pictures in an album, saving space on the walls. This concept applies to other aspects of our lives as well. We don’t need fancy frames – what is important is the essence, the experience, the memories. A complete set of china is less important than sharing a simple meal on plain, practical plates.

I was moved by more than the moving van. I was moved by the kindness of friends and neighbors, offering help . I was moved as I researched places to donate furniture and household goods that we no longer needed (honestly, things we really never needed in the first place). There are many amazing organizations working to help those in need. We donated to Disabled American Vets; Vietnam Vets of America; the Community Resource Center in Encinitas, our local community services organization; and we held a yard sale with the proceeds going to the International Rescue Committee to help with refugees and immigrants. We were able to donate a sofa to a Syrian family settling in our area.

Seeing first-hand how many folks are working on the frontlines to help so many others moved me to donate more. And when we got to our new house and we unpacked and put things away, I realized we could keep shedding. I was moved by the “buy nothing” community where one person’s excess is another person’s dream gift, and I was grateful for the social media platform that allowed the connections to occur.

By the time Thanksgiving arrived, and we were able to host a small gathering of family and friends around our table in our new dining room, I was moved to tears as I started the traditional reflection on gratitude. I was missing the two daughters who were not able to join us, and I also was moved to tears of gratitude when I thought about how much we have, starting with our health, family, friends, more than enough to eat, and a lovely home in which to share our bounty.

Transitions are hard. Change makes us uncomfortable. And in the process of moving, of changing, of transitioning, we open new vistas, we learn new lessons, and we enrich our lives. Moving on can mean moving up in contentment, in security, and in love.

How do you know what’s true?

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In my last blog post, I asked how we can be educated about important issues and feel confident that we are getting fact-based information. I have several recommendations, none of which are my own unique ideas.

  1. Check your sources. Who is writing or speaking? Instead of reading someone’s interpretation of a new policy or a speech by a public official, try to find the actual documents. Read the speech or policy yourself. It takes more time to read original sources, but it will help you understand commentaries you may find online. It will also allow you to calibrate the commentators.
  2. If you read secondary sources, ask whether they have an agenda that they might be advocating. Anonymous posts are less likely to be objective. Ask yourself why someone might be afraid of putting their name on their views. Academics aren’t inherently objective, but are more likely to document statements they make, and provide back-up references that you can check out for yourself.
  3. Look for multiple but independent sources. If you read the same thing in multiple places, it might add credibility, but often people just repeat what they read somewhere else.

It is well known that confirmation bias affects most of us – this is a phenomenon in which we tend to believe information that confirms what we think we already know, and we discount information that conflicts with our existing perspectives. It takes awareness and effort to be open to the possibility that we might not know everything, that new information might mean we have to adjust our position on an issue. That’s important, because reaching consensus and healing some of the deep divisions that exist will require people to be humble and open to new ideas.

And remember: just because you saw it on the internet, doesn’t mean it’s true, and just because a conservative spokesperson said it, doesn’t necessarily mean it isn’t true.

Jeff Bezos and me

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My book is now available on Amazon. I didn’t want to do it. I did not publish the book through Amazon, but I just released it through IngramSpark, which is a publishing site linked to independent bookstores, and it also distributes through Amazon. So you can click here you can order the paperback version. I’m told that within a few weeks the ebook version will also be available.

Amazon is a challenge for me. I teach business ethics and corporate social responsibility to college students. I believe one responsibility corporations have is to pay their fair share in taxes to support public investment and social services. I don’t like it when fully employed people need to use publicly funded health care services while their employer reaps huge profits and pays no taxes. I don’t like it when gig workers need unemployment support while Uber and Lyft pay nothing into those funds. I don’t like it when Amazon deliveries depend on the USPS, publicly funded streets and airports, and can call on public safety services if there is an emergency all, while paying nothing in corporate taxes. I know it’s legal, but it’s not right. And it was corporate lobbyists who pushed to create those legal tax breaks for corporations.

At the same time, Amazon is pretty amazing. Jeff Bezos had a better idea and he executes it well. I can simply type in the name or description of what I’m looking for and, with a few clicks, it arrives at my house the next day. I want innovation to thrive, and I want innovators to be able to reap the rewards of their innovations. The challenge is to find that balance between individualism and community; between greed and interdependence.

I don’t think we are anywhere close to the right balance yet. Recent proposals for taxing very high incomes, closing corporate tax loopholes, and maybe even a wealth tax, could make a big difference. Once you have a few billion dollars in your account, would you even notice if the government took a percent or two?

What we need (yes, my middle name should be Pollyanna) is to build trust in government, so that people believe that their tax dollars will be well spent and not wasted. Our taxes are an investment in our quality of life, and the debate should be about which elected officials will invest with the highest return, not who can lower our taxes the most and leave us struggling to meet our challenges.

We also need to (re)build a sense of connection and shared humanity – a sense that what happens to anyone impacts everyone. My thoughts on racism and social justice and privilege will go in other blog posts. In short, I believe that much of what is framed as concern about government waste, or allegations of socialism, is really a cover for overt or subconscious racism, which stems from a deep fear and insecurity, stoked by those in power who haven’t figured out that life is not a zero sum game.

For now, the point of this post is to say that my book is on Amazon and I have mixed feelings about that. I will continue to make it available through other channels as well, working to promote it to independent bookstores. If there is an independent bookstore near you, please ask them to order a copy. And if you live in the San Diego area, contact me through this website and I can offer free next day delivery without Amazon!

 

 

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